Parable of Narcissus: the myth of falling in love

August 23rd, 2007

You must have heard the parable of Narcissus. He had fallen in love with himself. Looking into a silent pool of water, he fell in love with his own reflection. - “Love, Freedom, Aloness”, Osho

“Narcissus fell in love with his own reflection - not with himself. That is not true self-love. He fell in love with the reflection; the reflection is the other. He had become two, he had become divided. Narcissus was split. He was in a kind of schizophrenia. He had become two - the lover and the loved. He had become his own object of love - and that’s what happens to so many people who think they are in love.” This is how Osho reminds us about what we think we fall in love with somebody.

The Magic of Narcissus

We are all Narcissus, the story is actually an analogy for us all. For our self reflection, it is how we think we are and what we think we want to be. Just like Narcissus, we have the “magic” of spliting ourselves and projecting out our self reflection.

Love of Narcissus

When we fall in love with somebody, just like Narcissus looking at his own image reflected in the water (an analogy of our mind), we project our self reflections to our beloved ones. Narcissus fell in love with his own image, and it is our self reflection that we fall in love with. To love somebody, turns into the fulfilling of the love to ourselves.

We take one step further than Narcissus, we do not only ask our beloved ones to fit in our self reflection, we ask them to become our self reflection in this materialistic world (how romantic this is!). That’s why we have so many expectations on our beloved ones and we experience so many frustrations in love.

Love, in this form, is a kind of “selfish” love, not love for others. Don’t blame our beloved ones for failing our expectations and bringing us the frustrations, it is our selfish love that makes us unsatisfied. The myth of Narcissus, is a reminder for us all.

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Related post: let go

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Secret - when love is pure

August 13th, 2007

Secret

(it was raining and the boy riding bicycle saw the girl)
(he stopped and talked to the girl)
boy: let me ride you home, my home is near to yours …
girl: how do you know that?
boy: … em … it’s raining today …

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In his first directed movie, Jay Chou, reminds us of our pure and simple good old days, those days when we were young and where our first loves started.

The story happened in a Music Department of a Colleage, where the talented piano student, Jay, met his classmate, Rain. Rain also played very good piano. It was the day when it was raining after school, Jay offered Rain to ride her home, that started their friendship.

If you have watched some Japanese films, one would find that this movie looks like a Japanese film. It takes place in a small and quiet village in 淡水 of Taiwan, with small huts, little streets, old market and pretty sea-view. There are not many dialogues in the film and the pace is slow. The major background in the film, the College, is actually the Secondary School of Jay, a beautiful old building which is in European style. So, this is the world represented in the film, simple, pure, quiet, graceful and subtle.

The music in the film is another important element in the film. Jay himself is a famous and popular R & B writer and singer, and yet, he is also a pianist. There are lots of piano pieces performed by Jay and his classmate Rain in the film, that creates a very beautiful and graceful atmosphere for the whole film. Only appreciating the lovely piano pieces in the film, it’s really very enjoyable.

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rain: it seems that you like playing piano with one hand only.
jay: such that i could hold your hand.

Jay has successfully reminded us of some touching and interesting moments in our school lives: passing out message to a friend in a small piece of paper, having lunch boxes at the playground, writing and drawing on the school desk by a correction fluid, riding a bicycle back to home, going to an old CD shop to listen to the music, walking along the seaside after school, eating ice-cream during the beautiful sunset, etc. All these make us smile and say hello to our good old days.

The film is about our first loves. The pureness and subtleness when we first fall in love, it is the love in its purest form, without calculation. Do we still remember this feeling of pure love, that there is no calculation, no tactics, but only love and happiness?

Back to the film, Jay and Rain had became good friends and love grew between them. However, Rain seemed a bit strange, she was always absent from classes and her excuse was to practise piano. She disappeared from time to time. Jay promised her that he would play her a beautiful piano piece during his graduation performance. One day, Rain just disappeared and …

This film is very beautifully produced. It is an enjoyable process to watch the pretty scenes, to listen to the lovely music, to recall our old school lives and to appreciate the subtleness and pureness in the first love.

To my surprise, the film is quite soft and yet many male audiences love it and have watched it for more than one time in cinema. Although this film is in Phutonghua, I do highly recommend it to you. If you wish to know how Jay and Rain develop, you would need to check it out by yourselves. It is now on show in Hong Kong, and I don’t know whether your cinemas would put it on. Otherwise, just wait for the VCD. With the pretty music and lovely scenes, it should be included into your film collections.

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Related post: relaxing sunday

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let go

August 6th, 2007

(”the kiss” 1908 & “mother and child” 1905, Gustav Klimt)

“the more we care, the more we lost … i better give up ……” - said the frustrated harry potter.

i was watching the harry potter, the “order of phoenix”, tonight and i was touched by these lines.isn’t this too true for us all, especially in the era of love and relationships? the more we care, the more we love, the more we are hurt and frustrated.

we always ask ourselves, why they don’t appreciate what we have done? why they don’t understand us? why they treat us so bad?

if this is all out of love, why we are hurt and frustrated?“

“you will be surprised to know that the English word love comes from a Sanskrit word lobha, lobha means greed. it may have been jsut a coincidence that the English word love grew out of a Sankrit word that means greed, but my feeling is that this cannot be just coincidence. There must be something more mysterious behind it, there must be some alchemical reason behind it.

in fact, greed digested love. it is greed, lobha, digested well, which becomes love.love is sharing; greed is hoarding. greed only wants and never gives, and love knows only giving and never asks for anything in return; it is unconditional sharing. there may be some alchemical reason that lobha has become love in English language. Lobha becomes love as far as inner alchemy is concerned.” - <love, freedon, aloneness>, osho, 2001.

do we notice that it is out of greed that we think / claim that we care and love someone. for this greed, it means desire and expectation. do we ever notice that when we love and care someone, the deep down reason is to fulfill our desires and expectations?

i love you (and i wish you love me in return …)
i love you (and i wish you obey me in return …)
i love you (and i wish you are loyal to me in return …)
do i truely love you … ?

when desires and expectations are not met, that becomes the source of our frustraction and disappointment. to love someone, to care someone, and we also have to learn how to let go, to let go of our desires and greed.

if we love someone, then love them the way they are;
if we love someone, then love them and don’t ask them to change;
if we love someone, then love them with freedom and give them space;
if we love someone, then love them and don’t ask for return.

we let go, and we hope that our beloved ones would let go too. love, with “greed digested well“, would become the unconditional love. it is when we could let go our greed and desires, the distilled true love is with us.

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Angel Cards

July 31st, 2007

Emerging Angel

‘Your true self - radiant, powerful, successful, and intelligent - is now shining through the surface. Allow your true self to be visible to others, for you lift them up and inspire them. ’

(you are awesome in so many ways, and you are begining to trust and reveal your true nature more easily. at one time, you may have believed that you had to hide your true feelings from others or from yourself. now, however, you realise how vital and attractive expressing your authentic self is.

your angels are guiding you to honour your true feelings by expressing them to yourself and others. the angels will help you lovingly talk about your feelings so that no misunderstandings occur with friends and loved ones. your angels will never guide you to do or say anything that could hurt you or anyone else. they will also ensure that your life will emerge to a new level of inner peace as you let your true self come out and play.)

“Angel Cards” is an oracle to help you focus on your energy level and your spiritual status. Calling assistance from the universe and your guardian angels, you are about to reveal and return to your inner self, to pay attention to your present status and to recover and rebalance oneself.Tonight, out of intuition, I took out my Angel Cards and drew out one card in random. Then, my Emerge Angel spoke for me. My Angel draws my attention to the new energy emerging within myself and reveals my ability to “lovingly” communicate my feelings with others without fear. This Angel is for me, as well as for all of you. Do believe in yourself, believe in your own powerfulness and radiance, always communicate your true feelings with yourself and others.